People ask me how being a mom is. I respond with, I love every split second. However, I am then left thinking--Gosh, that really doesn't give credit where created is due. Loving every split second seems like an understatement of how I truly feel about being a mom. It's like trying to describe that one delicious dish I had on vacation, at the one particular restaurant that I can't remember the name of because the meal itself took over all thoughts and senses. It's that good but gooder. Yet, even that explanation doesn't shed enough light on the matter.
There are many days, moments, and minutes that I dwell on her tiny face. It's not until I feel my teeth and jaw aching in pain that I realize I have been unconsciously clenching my teeth out of love for her very being.
Do you clench Your teeth when You admire Your children? Are there simply no words or comparison to explain how I feel about being a mom?
I have taken over 2,500 photos of my baby since she was born. She's only been alive for 87 days! Are You that obsessed and distracted by our every move, sound, and smile?
Many moments of disbelief have engulfed my soul when trying to fathom the love You have for me. I sit and dwell in the love I have for my tiny bundle and then surrender to Your majesty of love that I am unable to comprehend.
At night when I am unable to sleep I sit on the sofa, listening and waiting. Waiting in anticipation for a tremble of noise in the dark. Her noise. A noise that calls out in need of me. Here I am sweet tiny, here I am. There is no hesitation or second thought to hold her near; comforting, loving, dwelling. As if I had been away for days, the moment I engulf her sent and touch it brings me back to a place of firsts.
That is how you love, huh? Quickly, without hesitation. Never failing.
Since born, I have watched our blessing grow. Eyes that jump with life, actively take in each view before her. At times when her sight meets my own, I stare into the deep blue of innocence and magic, wondering if the eyes of my child compare to Yours. Unhindered by the world of gluttony, sorrow, and sin.
I think of You often as my time here runs by. Dwelling in Your creation of love. The love that no words or comparison can describe. The love I have for her is a gift You have given me. A gift that reflects a mere fraction of the love You have for me.
I love You--I love You. As only words can describe.