All in.

Last night was the conversation we’d had so many times before. Always starting out a little different, but always coming full circle to the same topic, the same doubts. Except this time there was an end. This time a decision was made.

Once in bed reading, we began the telling... one after another. 

Hey, read this.

Philippians 1:12-26

 ¹² Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel. ¹³ As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. ¹⁴ And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear. 

 ¹⁵ It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. ¹⁶ The latter do so out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. ¹⁷ The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. ¹⁸ But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice. 

   Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, ¹⁹ for I know that through your prayers and God’s provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance.²⁰ I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. ²¹ For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. ²² If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! ²³ I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; ²⁴ but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. ²⁵ Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, ²⁶ so that through my being with you again your boasting in Christ Jesus will abound on account of me.

Five minutes later...Hey, listen to this.

Colossians 1:9-14

 ⁹ For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, ¹⁰ so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, ¹¹ being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, ¹² and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light. ¹³ For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, ¹⁴ in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

His mighty voice was yelling down, Hello Winder’s, do you hear me yet? Won’t you trust? 

How easily we distract ourselves from what God has been asking. Yes, we have done some. But, no, we have not done it all. But last night we heard. And last night our continuous conversation ended with the result of what the All Mighty Creator wanted us to do, rather then what we wanted for ourselves.

We shut our bibles, turned off our lamps, snuggled into the sheets and held one another.

Did you ever think you would be where you are today, two years ago? I asked.

No. Not here. Not with you. Not having a baby. He said.

I was going to be a rich man driving a BMW.

But now, I only want to be a poor man. With a wife who is loving, children that are kind, serving God in everything I do.

I held him closer, wept in joy, and praised the Lord for the big guy.

The changes we have been avoiding are no longer in our hands. We will follow Him in all that we do; we're all in. And while the journey will be hard, our daily circumstances will remind us of His glory and grace.