I've began tricking my child into eating. Between juggling a mini carrot and a mini glass of water I feel that I have the procedure down pat. I call it a procedure because 9 times out of 10 we both complete the task having undergone a long and messy course of action.
Honestly, the food fight wears me thin. Having patience to sit in a chair, holding a mini spoon with a dollop of food puree on the end, all the while maintaining a cheesy-wide-eyed-and-open-mouth-expression makes me tired. There have been times where I pray out loud. Please Lord, let her eat quickly. Please Lord, let my trick work. Please Lord, give me the strength to sit her for another 30 minutes. Please Lord, keep me from throwing this bowl in air.
Tonight I held the mini spoon in one hand and the mini carrot in the other. I waited for the open-mouth-moments slowly. No rushing. Submitting to her time. Forgetting about my own.
As I washed beet-puree-splatter off my face I laughed.
I can get worked-up over silly things.
Worked-up over my 7 month not eating beets.
I didn't start enjoying beets until adulthood. Had someone strapped me in a chair and tricked me into a spoon-full of beet puree, well, I'd spit-it all over too.
I am just a vapor, that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. James 4:14
While I pray for my moments to be of ease, I have come to the understanding that perhaps I should submit to the moment, forget about the idea of me and what I think is needed, and enjoy my vapor. Enjoy my beet-puree-splatter vapor.