58 years ago, on the day, his journey began.
What is your salvation story? I asked.
Fifty
eight years ago, I was born to devout Hindu parents in a small town in
deep-south India. I was one of six children. We were all raised in a
very traditional
way – learning all the religious customs, edicts and scripture. My
family belonged to the highest caste called the Brahmins who are the
priestly caste though my father was not a priest and did not raise us to
be priests. I was extremely independent from the
beginning, and my parents realizing that I was intellectually blessed,
encouraged my independence. My family lived in predominantly poor
neighborhoods where I witnessed extreme poverty. I could not conceive of
a compassionate, loving God in the midst of so
much pain and deprivation.
My
understanding of God was strictly limited to creation, punishment and
suffering, and death. God was remote in my mind. He created, but He did
not care
about the outcome. The remoteness of God under such hopeless
circumstances was justifiable to me. It satisfied my rational mind, but
there was no satisfaction in my inner being from this rationalization.
I
attended Catholic schools from an early age because my parents knew
that these schools offered the best education in India. Part of the
curriculum included
lessons from the Bible. Every school day started with an assembly and
reciting of the Lord’s prayer. However, these were perfunctory acts as
part of the school routine with no real spiritual impacts to my heart.
Neither my parents’ faith nor the religious
teachings at school answered the mystery of suffering and the
hopelessness I witnessed around me.
When
I left home at the age of 17 to attend an exclusive engineering college
in Madras, I completely shut God out. The intellectual, rational
dialogues with
my elite colleagues from many southeast Asian nations only added to my
agnosticism. When I was 21, after having completed my undergraduate
degree, I left India and immigrated to the United States to pursue my
graduate studies at the Georgia Institute of Technology
in Atlanta, Georgia. Surrounded by students from different parts of the
world added more firepower to my agnosticism. I was leaning more toward
a godless, self-sufficient universe.
Marrying
a girl raised in a Christian home did not in any way change my beliefs
and value system. I believed strongly that survival and security in this
world
were strictly a function of one’s material acquisition and the
protection of one’s interests. “Be selfish and enjoy all the comforts
that the world has to offer” became my motto.
My
dream of one day working for the space program came true when I joined
NASA in 1989. Living in Georgia and Alabama, part of the Bible Belt, I
had many
friends whose sole goal was to convert this “heathen man”, and make me
see the Light. Instead of drawing me nearer to God, this actually pushed
me more toward atheism.
In
December of 1996, NASA sent me to Wallops Island in Virginia to oversee
a two week project. I was staying in a motel on Chincoteague Island.
One cold morning
about 6 a.m., I decided to visit the beach, for I had been raised in a
coastal city in India and was very fond of the ocean. Of course, at that
hour, no one was at the beach because the state park adjacent to the
beach was a hunting ground. It was high tide
with six to eight foot waves crashing onto the 20-foot wide shore.
Hermit crab tracks and shells were strewn all around. At that time, no
overwhelming issues of any nature were on my mind.
After
walking a quarter of a mile, a Bible story came flooding into my
memory, something I had learned 30 years before in my Christian
Education classes in
the Catholic School. So goes the story: As evening came, Jesus said to his disciples,
“Let’s cross to the other side of the lake.”
So they took Jesus in the boat and started out, leaving the crowds behind (although other boats followed).
But soon a fierce storm came up. High waves were breaking into the
boat, and it began to fill with water. Jesus was sleeping at the back
of the boat with his head on a cushion. The disciples woke him up,
shouting, “Teacher, don’t you care that we’re going
to drown?” When Jesus woke up, he rebuked the wind and said to the
waves,
“Silence! Be still!” Suddenly the wind stopped, and there was a great calm.
Then he asked them, “Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?”
The disciples were absolutely terrified. “Who is this man?”
they asked each other. “Even the wind and waves obey him!” (Mark
4:35-41, NLV)
Suddenly,
just like in the Biblical account, a scene unfolded in front of my eyes
as I stood alone on the beach. The roaring sea absolutely calmed down.
The
wind stopped. I saw a boat floating ashore, and a white-robed man
stepping off the boat. He walked toward me and took hold of my hands. I
distinctly remember Him calling me by my name, “Jay,” a nickname my
father gave me when I was a child. He told me, “Jay,
I love you. Trust me and all your doubts will be cleared.”
He
took me by the hand and we walked along the beach. I can’t fully recall
all that He had told me, for I was too overwhelmed. But, I didn’t have
to be NASA
rocket scientist to realize Who walked beside me. Then and there I knew
I belonged to HIM. I let go of all that had been precious to me – my
life – and surrendered it to HIM. I can never forget those eyes looking
into my heart. Indescribable peace filled me.
I
knew my intellect would stand in the way of sharing this vision and my
surrender. The whole encounter refuted my logical training and rational
mind. However,
like Zacchaeus, this was my sycamore tree, my passion. I knew I had to
come down of the tree, for the ONE I had encountered had transformed me
into a new person – HE had invited me to join HIM.
From
then on, I found security not by owning things but by being owned by
JESUS. I found peace, not by controlling my mind, but by being
controlled by JESUS’
love and grace. I began a new journey, a LIFE of eternity in CHRIST. My
selfish egotistical past was crucified, and I had been reborn. An
insatiable desire drives me to hear His words constantly. I have an
all-consuming passion to see HIM again.
Thank you for sharing. I have been blessed because of it.
1 comment:
very nice story !
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